...

I went. I told them about this. About how I am. How I've been. I did that. You made me. So I went and I did it. Now, you hound me to tell you how it went, and then you talk to me with disbelief in your voices of what I have to say. What the hell was the point then? Why do I even bother? I speak and you hear nothing of what I'm saying. What did I do? When was it that I became so distrustworthy that you can't believe me when the outcome only affects me? Yes, I do lie to you, but it's only so you all can be happy. So you don't worry.

I didn't want to go back. I don't want to talk. Don't make me think about what happens next. I don't want to remember. I want it to fade, to disappear. But here it is, running around in my head, tearing my mind to shreds, breaking me all over again